Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
