glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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