U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
