did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
