I faked an abortion last night.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
