Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
