let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
