how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
