He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
