Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
