I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The struggles of a small town man whore
COCAINE IS GR8
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
