We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
