i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize