so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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