im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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