Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Ketchup is God's man juice
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
