its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
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There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
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Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize