apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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