Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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