There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i out mim tonsoeep
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