Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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