Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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