Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
