tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
