is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This is the high leading the old right now
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
