non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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