she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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