My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
