Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
