Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
be right there i have to get my cape
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
