PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
