Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
