so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
