I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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