She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This baby is an asshole
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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