I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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