Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
