Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
