My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
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I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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