I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
