I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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