hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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