You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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