he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
And the cops told us we were all naked.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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