i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
