She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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