I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
someone owes me an orgasm
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
