im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
