A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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