I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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