Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
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