He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
