I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
