I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i think i have herpe
just one?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
