The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize