The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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