Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
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If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
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Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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