i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
