It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
