one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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