Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
